Today, I quit my job. Now before you fall over in shock and send me an e-mail about how it takes bloggers years to bring in a full-time income, put your mind at ease. I quit one of my jobs…just needed the dramatic effect…think blogger click bait.
Working 9 to 5
For the past few years, I have been working what amounts to two part-time jobs equaling one full time job. The nature of my work meant sometimes things slowed down at various points of the year. Having two jobs often meant they didn’t slow down at the same time. I work remotely at home doing transcription work, so my job comes with many perks like a work uniform resembling pajamas…corporate flannel.
Until COVID hit.
Working 9 to 3
After everything shut down due to COVID in March 2020, my work also dried up as well. One account had minimal work, and the other had none. Things gradually picked up, but I had seen the other side…no more full-time work for me. I realized that I had really been burning the candle at both ends because as I stated in a previous post, I was also mostly carrying the load of the household. So with my husband’s support, I reduced my hours from 40 to 30.
Simplifying The Dream Path
I will be still working the same numbers of hours in a week and now devoting some more time to my blog, so I haven’t exactly found more time. But working on your dream feels a lot different than showing up to work on someone else’s. The decision to end one job was made to simplify my energy. One of my jobs had an unpredictable workflow, and I felt like I was always on call. I’m a simple soul, and I never do well with too many pulls on my energy.
Change is Hard
After discussing it with my husband and sitting on it for a full two weeks, I did it. I sent the e-mail…Friday afternoon...with breath held. You know how you have a tough decision to make, and you stew and you stew until you realize that you are neglecting a lot of other things to stew about. You have the epiphany that you will not have the opportunity to stress about anything else until you bite the bullet and act…what weird saying…bite the bullet. Puts in mind so much gratitude that my husband has a dental plan.
Biting the Bullet…Ouch
Wanting to move to the next item on my stress list, I sent the e-mail and all my anxiety washed away…ha, ha, nope. I stayed in a state of numbness until I located a cookie. Then, I decided to sit in the anxiety which eventually offered an edge of relief. I then received a lovely reply that my message had been received, and I was welcome back anytime. Then the anxiety lifted, but I also felt a little less courageous because my decision had a parachute…and had another cookie.
No More Cookies
Right now at this moment, I am going to bask in my anxiety and relief before moving on to the next item to stew about. I am feeling peaceful and a little giddy. Overall though, the feeling is one of relief, and even though relief isn’t joy, it’s sure a step on the path closer to joy.
Do you find these types of decisions as terrifying as I do? Are you feeling the drain of energy from a decision you know you need to make to get closer to your goals?
I suggest you just make it and feel the relief because a decision made is momentum forward, and any momentum is better than remaining stuck. And once the decision is made, the whole issue falls away, and you are faced with your next mountain to start climbing. Something to look forward to.
And you have my support to feel brave and courageous…even if your decision has a parachute, and your plane hasn’t left the ground.
And then there is the most dangerous risk of all - the risk of spending your life not doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.
- Randy Kosimar